All aboard the relation ship

relationship. relation. ship. a ship of relations. ships relationing. Relations shipping. Relationship has a plethora of connotations and definitions. All the same word. so many different meanings. it could be a friend to friend relationship. a parent to child. sibling to sibling. courting. dating. "talking". texting. Facebook stalking. okay, okay, it does not take a relationship to Facebook stalk. but I have made my point. so whats my point? *crickets chirping* clearly i have not. My point is, relationships are important. So very important. they surround us everyday. and just because your Facebook status does not read "in a relationship" does not mean you are not in one. You are simply not in a dating relationship. The reason I bring this up, is that relationships have never been my, whats the word I am looking for here, my strong point per-say. I am not a very good communicator. I have a tendency to fall off the face of the earth and not talk to people for days at a time. I do not know how to start conversations. half the time I feel unwelcome in social situations (my awkward stand-off-ish-ness could have something to do with this). and my sense of humor does not bode well with the general population and I have a tendency to come off way wrong to people. I become friends with people but then think they probably didn't really like me and they were just being nice and so i don't invest in the relationship further. and my heavenly father who loves to help me grow has shown me, quite blatantly, that I need to work on my relationships with people. In my bible study, the theme was parent child relationships. in youth group the theme was relationships. in church, the sermon was relationships.and constantly throughout the week the theme of relationships kept popping up. (God sure knows how to grab my attention.) The first area that I felt needed the most quick action was my relationship with my hormonally imbalanced the-whole-world-is-out-to-get-me 13 year old sister. *sympathetic nods from audience* Everyone knows that living with a girl in her growing season of life. in her awkward trying to figure out who she is time, is, quite simply, torture. these monsters can go from laughing to bawling in a span of 1.3 seconds. Yet, I was a middle school girl too. Not to say I was as bad as that (but doesn't everyone think they weren't that bad?) but shouldn't I be able to extend understanding and grace? Why do I find myself so short of patience and finally giving up with a sarcastic comment and an exasperated sigh? or more commonly a fight about the most insignificant things? I started to think about this in depth. My sister and I used to get along fairly well. Most of the time it would be me dragging her along to do things with me so I wouldn't look like a total loner. but now? we cant even be in the same room for five minutes. everything I say is a personal attack on her, and everything she does requires a correction (or so I think) I realized that if I wasn't growing in my relationship with God or that I was neglecting my time with him, my other relationships would suffer as well. I began to realize my sister was trying to tell  me she needed my love, but she didn't really know how. I realized that in order to avoid the fighting i avoided the relationship. Instead of solving the problem I was running away from it. I realized that nothing I would say would mean anything to her without a relationship with her. I needed to start listening, no matter how hard to follow. and I needed to hear her out, even when what she was telling me was what i was doing wrong. and I needed to treat her like the young woman she was becoming. The second area  i felt convicted in was my relationships with my peers. or my lack of relationships with my peers. quite simply. I don't generally talk unless spoken to. I don't generally go out of my way to talk to people I don't know. and big crowds freak me out. If you asked someone at my school who I am they would most likely reply with, who? How in the world am I supposed to be reaching out to people if I don't reach out. How can I share the gospel if i never speak? How are people supposed to see the work of Christ in my life and the joy he has brought to me if i am stone faced Sally over here all the time? (Thomas Glenn I believe you are the one who told me I never smile, and you were not the first, nor the last). I cant just cover up my lack of actions with "I am socially awkward" and move on. because God said being a Christian is hard, and by golly, sorry to break it to you loners, but if you are a Christian and you honestly want to live out the life God has called to you, you have to leave your loner corner behind and start socializing. Christ said to go to the ends of the earth proclaiming the gospel, not the ends of your wits just trying to carry on a normal conversation. Relationships are hard, man. But they are important. Something I really liked that Pastor Terry talked about was that in our relationships we are the biggest problem. translated: in my relationships, I am the biggest problem. In my relationship with my sister? who is the biggest problem? her? *internal battle* its me! I am the biggest issue. I can't blame her for every fight and disagreement because i am just as guilty. I can't say no one likes me when I don't offer anything for people to like. every relationship is a two way street and if everyone believed they were the biggest issue, there would be no issues. I believe Christ has the power to radically transform any relationship you are in or are struggling with. If you really want to save or fix your earthly relationships, you first need to grow in your relationship with the Lord. also, disclaimer, sorry if you were expecting significant other relationship advice. my knowledge is a negative one. but I know a guy. Ever heard of  the Song of Psalms? Its in this handy dandy little book called the bible. been around for centuries. its real retro for all you hipsters. and it has all the relationship advice you will ever need in it. you're welcome.