I have often pondered the saying that highschool gets lonelier and lonelier for those that try and live according to God's standards. I never use to understand this. During my early years of highschool, I considered myself a Christian. And, in my defense, I was. I was just a Christian who did not have a growing relationship with God. I was an unaware stagnant who was content with my daily prayers before bed and weekly church attendance. I did not understand why Christians said highschool was lonely for them because I called myself a Christian and it was not lonely for me. I figured they must be doing something wrong, when in fact, I was the one doing it wrong. I was never popular, but I would like to believe I was well liked. I had quite a few friends. I was not lonely. But I was not living the life God called me to live. I was compromising my morals and better judgment. I felt I had to apologize for my beliefs to my non-christian friends--most of my friends were non--christians. I think my first issue was not having a core group of belivers who were supporting me and encoruaging me to grow. Instead, I had a core group of non-belivers who were making me feel like I needed to become more like them in order to find true fulfillment. Eventually, I started to believe them, and follow them. I cannot say during the early years of highschool that God was on the forefront of my heart. I wanted the benifits of being a christian without having to put forth the effort of following him. Then this summer happened. It was a complete culture shock for me coming from a highschool where I was the most spiritually mature, to a community of believers that took living for God to a level I did not think was possible. I went from apologizing to my friends for being "too Christian" to apologizing to God for not having the kind of relationship with him that I saw on the faces and hearts of these solid christians who had nothing in their hearts greater than The Lord. They say you become like those that you surround yourself with. That was true for me in early highschool, and praise God, that was true for me this summer. I did not think Christians like that existed. I always thought I had reached the peak of spiritual maturity. However, being surrounded by believers who passionatly loved The Lord and earnestly sought after him everyday, made me realize I was one of the most spiritually immature out of the whole lot. My outlook on life changed that summer, and coming back in to highschool as a different person, I knew things would change. I heard people tell me that I would lose friends, that it would become lonely for me. I heard their words, but part of me did not believe it. I do not think I truly believed that any of my friends would desert me because of my reveived heart. I was wrong. Matthew !10:22 says: "You will be hated because of me", If I am not liked by everyone it means I am doing someting right. If I am loved by everyone, I have some serious evealutating to do. If I thought coming from highschool to camp was a culture shock, I had no idea was I was in for going from camp back to the highschool. I spent the first few weeks of school completely baffled, depressed, and utterly lonely. I went from a place of believers that grieved over their sins to a building where people flaunted them. I was forced to see my surroundings with fresh eyes, and it burned. I had grown numb to the words and actions of others, I had accepted that this is just the way people act. But camp had shown me that was a lie. I did in fact lose friends. The once insperable friends are now just passing faces in the halls. Romans 12:2 says: "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world," this means even the socially accpeted sins of lying, cheating on tests, gossiping, drinking, partying, and slanderous speech. That verse should go on to say that living that out in highschool is not glorified. It is mocked. and scoffed at. People feel like you are judging them if you choose to live dfferently. As a result they choose not to be around you. It is a sad, but very real truth. It cost me popularity. It cost me friends. It cost me social acceptance. It cost me being able to ignore the sin around me--before it did not faze me, now it physically hurts me. I once enjoyed the latest gossip, as I believe, every girl does, but now hearing people talk badly of another person makes my heart ache for them, no matter what they have done or what kind of person they are. It makes me sad that I have already reached a point where I am ready for highschool to be over. It makes me sad that this world makes living for God such a difficult task. But I do it with a light heart. Highschool ends, and the choices we make in those brief years will haunt us for the rest of our lives. It is so easy to get sucked into the here and now. The feeling that all the parties and boyfriends and sports events are so imortant, when in five years they will not even bear any significance to the grand scheme of your life. Highschool ends. And the sooner we come to realize that compromising our faith is not worth momentary popularity, the more content and fulfilled we will be. I may not have a million friends, but I have genuine, solid, christian friends now. I may not have social acceptance, but I have acceptance from the creator of the universe. And when we look at it from that angle, is not trade a wonderful one? Isaiah 40:31 "You can have all this world, just give me Jesus."
